Here are a few comments we’ve recently received from well-intentioned friends and family members about our upcoming adoption:
“Why in the world would YOU do this? YOU do enough already for the kids in Africa!”
"YOU have such a beautiful family. Why would YOU want more kids?"
"God has blessed YOU with a perfect family. Why would YOU want to mess it up?"
"Look how beautiful YOUR daughters are. Why would YOU want to 'muddy the waters'?"
"How are YOU going to afford putting 5 children through college?"
"YOU already have to pay for 4 weddings. How are YOU going to pay for another wedding?"
“How can YOU love them all the same?"
“Where are YOU going to put all these kids?”
"YOU can't handle the 4 YOU have. How are YOU going to deal with MORE kids?"
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh but all I want to say to our well-intentioned friends and family is "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Matt. 16:23.
Honestly, do you think I care one ounce about how I'm going to pay for a wedding 20 years from now? Or what the sleeping arrangements might be in our house when our son or daughter arrives, or how this might impact the college fund for our children? Please. (For a good read on this, check out It's Almost Naptime - I really couldn't say it any better!)
Nearly all of these comments are about pragmatism and how OUR life might be affected. What about God? Not once have we received a critical comment grounded in God's Word! What about the life of the child God has called to our family? What about his or her life? Should we allow them to continue living in prison and oppression so that our biological children have a nicer wedding or a better sorority experience at college?
Here are some other comments (some of which we’ve received and some of which would be nice to hear). Notice the difference in the statements above:
"I'm so excited. I can't wait to see how GOD works through all this!"
"What a beautiful picture of GOD'S grace. May HE bless you as you walk in obedience to HIS call.”
"I'm praying for your family."
"This will be a difficult journey, but GOD will sustain you."
"We want to walk alongside you in this. Please let us know how we can help."
"What an incredible picture of The Gospel!"
We realize there are a number of issues to consider - financial, medical, social, etc... Unexpected things will happen and we can't plan for all of them, nor do we feel we need to. We know adoption will be tough. We’re not kidding ourselves. But God didn’t call us to a simple life of leisure and pleasure. He calls us to a life of sacrifice where there will be suffering, persecution and reviling. And He wants us in a position where we WILL HAVE to rely on Him.
Yet we trust and know in the deepest part of our heart that God will equip us. We have been "created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph. 2:10. All we have to do is walk in them. He has already paved the way. We're just walking down a road He's cleared, graded, and prepared from the foundation of time.
So why in the world would we do this? The answer is simple. Our hearts desire to honor and serve God through adoption. There is no other explanation. And we will not turn to the left or right no matter what strained logic this world uses or how unconventional and impractical it may seem...no matter what people say. We look forward to the day when we will hear the one and only comment that will matter - "Well done, good and faithful servant."